You hear the name ‘Dunks’ and you’ll think everyone is referring to a local cult. You’re not completely incorrect; Dunks is more than a coffee chain to locals, it’s a way of life. Do not even suggest the coffee is bad. Do not even suggest going elsewhere for coffee or donuts. You’ll only enrage them.
If you need to get anywhere in New England, your directions will be provided in terms of Dunks locations. It’s not uncommon to get lost in an infinite loop of Dunks. Just don’t expect to ever find your way home again.
It’s rumored that Krispy Kreme once tried to infringe on Dunks’ donut market. Just a rumor. It’s wise not to speak of it.
The slogan ‘America Runs on Dunkin’ is a misconception. You’d be hard pressed to find so many Dunks outside of the northeast. Ex-New Englanders are well aware of this, and you can easily spot one from the dead look in their eyes.
No one Massachusettsan can agree on what the best donut is, but they will all agree that Dunks makes the best donuts, no matter the type. Do not argue. Do not mention Krispy Kreme.
It’s state law for one person in an office to bring Munchkins for coworkers on every Friday. You do not want to know what happens to those who don’t follow this law.
You go to an event, your friend’s house, a church function, and you ask for coffee. You’re handed a cup. It smells nice, you take a sip, you know that familiar taste, because no coffee tastes like it. You try to find a problem with it, you try to set it down, but you can’t. You take another sip, and another, and you’re enjoying the coffee. Once you’re done, you ask for more. You’re hooked, there’s no going back. Welcome to Dunkin Donuts.
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